Knowing
by HannahScho
Summary: Only discovered Suits not too long ago, binge-watched and now had to write a post 7.10 fic, from Donna's POV. #Darvey
1. I just had to know

**Chapter 1: I just had to know**

"I'm sorry, Harvey, I just had to know," she had said after she had kissed him. So, did she know now? One thing was for sure: she hardly knew how she got home! She had left the office in a daze, hailed a cab, got home, changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt and was just now settling down on her couch. All she could do was stare into her whiskey glass and replay that kiss over and over in her head.

Her lips had found his, her arms draped around his neck, the kiss felt like the most natural thing in the world. He just stood there and took it and after the first surprise she felt him lean in to her ever so slightly. He didn't recoil from her, he accepted, even seemed to briefly respond after the first shock. Then she pulled back, saw his startled face, their noses touching for just a second longer than absolutely necessary, her hands gently grazing the back of his head and his jaw. Their eyes locked when she said those words and then she had just left him standing there and had gone home.

Did she really need that kiss to know that she loved him? No, she didn't really, she already knew that. The kiss just confirmed it for her. What she also needed that kiss for was to prove that she had finally taken a chance; she had just needed to _do_ something before she regretted keeping it all in forever. She always put Harvey first, even when she left him to be Louis's secretary, she could never really let go. When she got back to him after a few months it had felt right for a little while. Until it didn't. Until it dawned on her that she needed more. Asking more of Harvey didn't seem to be an option so she took her career in hand and demanded more there. And she had gotten it!

Yet, even with more in her career, she realized she needed more from Harvey too. Yes, she had set the ground rule of never dating anyone from work, but rules can be broken. She had trusted that if her rule were to be broken, it would have to come from Harvey and then these past few days she had realized that that again meant that she was putting Harvey's needs first. What about her own needs? Louis's heartfelt confession of his regrets in letting Sheila go had made her realize that she didn't want to feel that regret. She couldn't put Harvey first, she had to put herself first for a change. She needed to take charge… She had tried to fight how she really felt for so long, something snapped and she couldn't do it any longer. She had to make sure she had tried everything, with no regrets left.

That kiss was a confirmation of what she deep down had always known… That kiss… And the look in Harvey's eyes after… It still took her breath away just thinking about it. She knew she had stunned him but she couldn't wait around for what he would say. That kiss, that was a moment just for her. So, after she kissed him, she just had to leave, she wasn't ready to face the fallout just then. She had shown him how she felt, she had let him know, and that was all that counted for now…

She was turning her glass of Scotch in her hand but her reverie was broken by a loud thumping on her front door. She closed her eyes for a moment, knowing who it would be. She then took a deep breath, got up and opened the door to a very angry looking Harvey.

"What the hell was that?" he demanded, "You just _needed to know_? What the hell does that mean?"

She sighed, opened the door wider and gently said, "Come in, Harvey".

Once in the living room, she offered him a drink.

"No, I don't want a bloody drink, I want to know what the hell that just was, back at the office!"

"Harvey…."

"You do realize that I am seeing someone? You do realize how important fidelity is to me and then you just come at me and kiss me? How could you do that? Do you realize how difficult that makes my position with Paula? What were you thinking? I can't believe that I finally find someone I could become serious with and you just step in and try to mess that up!"

Donna shook her head in disbelief and got a little angry herself.

"It's always all about you, isn't it Harvey? Well, this time it was about ME for a change! I just needed to know!"

"Needed to know what?"

"How I really feel about you and I needed to know that I have tried everything! You and I have always been beating around the bush. You have said before that you love me but you could never tell me how; I have said I love you, and you never wanted to know how. Well, now I'm telling you how and I acted on it!"

"Now you know how you love me? What does that mean?"

Oh, she was so done with concealment, it was time to finally let it all out. She let out a deep breath, the anger making place for resignation.

"I love you, Harvey, and not just as 'good friends' or in a sisterly fashion. I told myself for years that that was how I loved you, but no, I was wrong. I just… love you..."

Again, he had that stunned look in his eyes, not quite believing what he was hearing from her.

"You always had this rule that you never wanted to be involved with men you work with and now you've changed your mind?" he asked incredulously.

"As a lawyer, you should know better than anyone else that in exceptional cases, rules can be broken…" she said softly.

"And this is an exceptional case?"

"Yes."

He sighed, "Well, if that's how you feel, why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I wouldn't allow myself to admit it and you were in no way ready to hear it."

"Oh, and what makes you think I'd be ready now?"

"That's just the thing, Harvey! I'm always thinking about how you would or wouldn't feel. These past few days I've been realizing that I need to stop worrying about what you feel, and think about what I feel, for a change. I was listening to Louis tell me his regrets about losing his chance with Sheila and it felt like he was talking about me... And then you walked in and I figured I was done letting all chances pass me by! I was done waiting for you to be ready. I needed to do this for me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering 'what if'..."

"Great. And with that you are ready to ruin everything I am starting to build with Paula? She is fragile, she already had to go through a husband cheating on her, now she can add me to a list of adulterers."

"You didn't do anything, Harvey, this is all on me…"

"I can't be like my mother, I can't cheat on her…"

"I don't want you to cheat on her! I just had to…"

"Goddammit, Donna! You have put me in an impossible position! This thing with Paula, it is real, it feels like I'm actually starting to build something real with someone and you…"

"Don't you think I don't realize that? I'm Donna!" she exclaimed, her anger flaring again, "I know that this is serious for you and it bothers me, OK? Just like it has bothered you in the past when I was dating other men!"

"So, if me dating other women bothers you, why did you never act when, say, Scottie was around?"

"With Scottie, I'm sorry, Harvey, but I always knew it would never really work out with her."

"Pfft!"

"You loved her but not in the forever kind of way. And there were all these trust issues. With Paula, it's different. You changed after you started seeing her. She has helped you put so many demons to rest and I can see that she is good for you, maybe better for you than I can ever be… At the end of the day, at the end of every relationship you had, I was always there for you and now, for the first time in 13 years, it feels… different. This… felt like my last chance before I lose you for good…"

They studied each other for a few seconds, both calming down again.

"You won't lose me, Donna…" he then gently said, taking a step towards her but she backed away, tears in her eyes

"I've already lost you, Harvey. We're like an old married, albeit celibate, couple… we've been through thick and thin together and you are withdrawing from me…"

"Donna…"

"No, it's OK. I just… couldn't let you go without letting you know how I feel. Last chance and all that. I have been afraid before but I can't be afraid anymore, Harvey. When I said I wanted more, I wanted more. Not just with work. I want happiness and peace of mind and I needed to let you know how _I_ feel, so I can finally attain that. Now you know, now I know, now we can stop this whole to and fro thing we have going on and maybe now I can finally move on…"

They stared at each other wordlessly for what seemed like an eternity. Harvey took a step towards Donna, and touched her arm, their gazes were still locked together.

"Donna, I love you too, you know that, but I can't… and Paula, she's… good for me…" he said softly

"I know," she whispered, "I can feel that. And I am happy for you, Harvey, I really am. I just wanted… clarity. And now, I have it…"

"I'm so sorry…"

Donna took a step backwards, still not being able to tear her eyes away from his.

"It's alright, Harvey. As I said, time to move on."

She attempted a little smile and then turned away from him so that she could pick up her glass for a sip of her whiskey to help her regroup.

"Does that mean… are you leaving me again, Donna?"

Donna swallowed hard but she could do this. She reigned in her emotions with a big, steadying, breath, she put her drink down again and turned back to him.

"I don't know yet, Harvey. I don't know…"

Before she could say another word, he took a few steps towards her and pulled her into his arms.

"Don't leave, Donna," he whispered in her ear, "You're my dearest friend and ally in the world and I need you."

She melted in his embrace, relishing the feel of his arms around her and his closeness and his warmth and his smell. She had never been this close to him before, that one night many years ago excepted, but that had been animal passion, this was different. He was showing his feelings openly for once and she knew to whom she owed that. As much as it bothered her, she could really see that Paula was good for him. The thought of Paula brought her back to her senses and she stepped out of his embrace. Before she was completely free, Harvey quickly planted a small kiss on the top of her head.

"I'd better go now," he then said a little gruffly, finally releasing her.

"I think you should," she replied trying to blink back the tears.

When they got to the door he hesitated as he had his hand on the doorknob. He half turned to her.

"See you at the office?" he asked.

"For now," she smiled.

He nodded and then left. She closed the door and stood with her back against it for a long while, staring into space, the tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. Well, this is what she wanted, right? She wanted clarity and now, now, she really knew…


	2. Stay

**Chapter 2: Stay**

Donna was nothing if not a professional and was back at her desk the next morning at 7 am. After a night of tossing and turning and intermittent, restless sleep, she had just gotten up, made herself look fabulous and had gone in to work.

She took a deep breath when she entered her office, remembering yet again all too well what had happened there just the evening before. The kiss. Her hands caressing his hair and jaw… Oh no, she'd better snap out of it. She now knew, that had to be enough. Time to move on.

At just after 8 Harvey walked into her office with Louis in tow and the news that Jessica had been disbarred. The Pearson name would have to be removed from the wall and as COO, that meant there was a lot of work headed Donna's way to organize and oversee it all.

Before they knew it, they were all caught up in work, trying to reassure clients that Jessica leaving wouldn't change anything for them and organizing everything to make the official transition of power as smooth as possible.

Donna barely saw Harvey for the rest of the day, it almost felt like the night before had been a faraway dream. That is, until Rachel cornered her in her office at 7 pm, just as she was ready to head home again.

"Donna, what's up?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been running ragged all day, even more efficient than usual if that's possible, without a moment for anyone or a kind word. That is unlike you, especially on such an emotionally turbulent day for the whole firm."

"I'm sorry, Rachel, there's just so much to do and organize…"

"Sure, but you're Donna and you haven't seemed like yourself all day."

"You know, it's tough on me as well that Jessica's leaving!"

"You sure that's it?" Rachel asked. "Something feels off and I saw Harvey throw some angry looks your way this morning. So, what's wrong?"

Donna hesitated a moment, then allowed herself to sink into a chair with a huge sigh. She focussed on Rachel and said very softly, "I kissed Harvey last night…".

"What?" Rachel exclaimed.

"You heard me," Donna said.

"When… how…?"

"It was here in my office actually, as I was getting ready to leave last night. He walked in and I just… accosted him. You and I talked about Harvey the other night, yesterday Mike told me to not waste my chances, Louis was telling me of his regrets about Sheila… it was like the universe was forcing me to make a move and so I made it…."

"And Harvey…"

Donna stood up and took her bag.

"There's no Harvey in my future, Rachel. At least not in that way," she said as she made to leave the room.

"But the man loves you!"

Donna smiled, "Sure he does, but not like that. He wants to make a go of it with Paula…"

Rachel stared at her in disbelief but Donna shook her head.

"It's alright, Rachel, now I at least never have to wonder anymore about 'what if'. But I don't want to talk about this anymore right now, OK? Maybe another time. I just need to get home and try and get some sleep."

Rachel hugged her before she walked away.

Donna passed Harvey's office and was planning to just call out a good night and walk on, when just at that moment he looked up. Their eyes locked for a few moments and so she decided to walk in.

"I think it's all under control for now, Harvey. I'm off home."

He nodded, then after a small awkward pause answered, "You did excellent work today, Donna. Thank you."

She nodded and turned to go.

"Donna…" he said and she turned back to him.

"Yes, Harvey."

"I hope the... er… situation between us… well, you are a damned good COO and I hope you can stay."

"I am proud of what I have achieved here and I do want to stay, at least for now. I have been a professional working for you and good at what I do for the past 13 years and I will continue to be so. I just can't do the mentoring and the chit chat anymore with you, you'll have to go to Paula for that. We keep a little distance and I'll be fine, I hope you will be too. "

He nodded.

"Good night, Donna."

"Good night, Harvey."

And with that if was off home again where that night Donna only slept better due to sheer exhaustion.


	3. Paula

**Chapter 3: Paula**

The weeks that followed were very busy. Donna was up to her neck in work, Harvey was out of the office a lot, meeting clients, making deals, landing new clients. They saw each other during office meetings, occasionally Donna needed his signature or advice on some office policy. Sometimes Harvey would march into her office for clarification of something or asking her to do something. When they saw each other, their dealings were short and to the point, nothing more, nothing less. With that one kiss, something had been lost. There was no more banter, no more propping each other up or telling each other what's what. Their transactions were strictly business and, even though the burden of uncertainty had been lifted and Donna was extremely relieved at that, their coolness with each other broke her heart. And so, after a fortnight, Donna tried to make things a little more normal between them. Yes, she had said it would be best to keep a distance but the iciness between them felt off and she decided it needed to be changed so that the working relationship could become more comfortable. Harvey's reactions to her friendly advances, however, were short and gruff and she couldn't blame him for that. There was no going back, and she knew it.

Three weeks after the kiss, she was confronted with the no going back situation more than ever. She walked past Harvey's office and, happening to glance through the window, she was just in time to see Paula kiss him hello on the mouth. It was like watching a train wreck, she slowed her pace and couldn't look away. Just then Harvey stepped back from Paula, looking up and meeting her gaze, his smile freezing on his face. Donna quickly broke eye contact and moved on, just as she noticed Paula starting to turn. Paula's eyes never landed on her and Donna quickly entered her office and sat down at her desk before her knees gave way.

She stared blindly at the papers in front of her, her heart beating in her throat. She had seen him often enough with other women and that had been OK. What was so awful about seeing him with Paula now, she wondered for a moment? And then she remembered: the kiss she had shared with Harvey. He now knew how she felt and she know knew herself how she felt and that changed everything. Paula was the real deal and Donna knew that too and seeing him with Paula confronted her with the fact that she really had lost him for good.

For a moment she thought, "I can't work here anymore, I'm quitting!" but then she considered that she now had the position of COO. She hadn't had that position for long and what other law firm would hire her in that position? She didn't want to go back to being a secretary, she wanted this job, she had worked hard for this job, and this thing with Harvey shouldn't push her away. She was determined to stay. She had to make it work with Harvey around. She had to move on from Harvey, she just had to!

"Hello, Donna," a friendly British voice said and Donna's head popped up to see Paula standing at her door. "May I come in?"

"Of course!" Donna said, quickly trying to regain her equilibrium when her head kept on screaming 'I lost him to her! I lost him to her!'

"Nice to see you. You going out for lunch with Harvey?" she asked in her most friendly tone of voice.

"Yes, I am. Just thought I'd pop in to say hello."

"That's nice of you."

"I understand from Harvey that it's been a very busy time for you all, with Jessica leaving for good."

"Yes, it has been. We have all been swamped with normal caseloads and damage controlling on top of that, where needed."

"I noticed. Harvey's been out and about a lot, I understand."

"Yes, he has been."

"We haven't been seeing each other a lot, so a lunch date was called for."

"That's a good idea."

"Donna… I didn't just come in to say hello…"

Donna's stomach plummeted for a second there. "Oh?"

"Yes. I… er…" Paula said and suddenly Donna could see that she was looking nervous too. Just because Donna had lost Harvey, it didn't mean that Paula deserved to be treated coldly. The better woman had won and if she wanted to ensure her future at Specter Litt as COO, Donna figured she'd better do any damn thing she could to stay on the good side of her boss' girlfriend. Donna jumped up and offered Paula a seat, they both sat in an arm chair each, when Paula bit the bullet.

"Harvey told me," she said simply.

Donna looked down to her hands in her lap for a moment, swallowing, then looked up with a little smile.

"He told you what?" she asked.

"About you kissing him. And… that you have… feelings for him."

"I'm so sorry, Paula. I really do not intend to ruin anything for you and him."

"I admit it was a bit of a shock to hear about it…"

"Yes, I'm sure it must have been! But I'm glad he told you. Fidelity is a huge issue for him and I don't mean for him to be unfaithful…"

"He did feel he had been…"

"I'm so sorry, Paula! I really didn't mean to do that. And it really wasn't his fault, it was all me! As you know, Harvey and I have a long history together, we've always been close and I just needed… certainty. That kiss gave me that. He doesn't want me, Paula, he wants you. And I feel a little foolish for confusing our history with… something more that really isn't there. From the bottom of my heart I hope you and Harvey will be happy. You have helped him so very much, you are good for him…"

"Thank you, Donna," she said sincerely. "With him being busy with the firm and then this on top of that, it's been stressful. But you remain an important person in his life and I don't want anything to stand between us, which is why I want to be open with you."

"I appreciate that," Donna smiled. "And you have my word, I will never do anything like that again."

"Thank you," Paula smiled. Then after a little pause added, "He is struggling with it all, you know."  
"Jessica has been his friend and mentor for so long and Harvey doesn't do well with people leaving him, as you may know, so yes, this has been a difficult time."

"Jessica has been gone for a while, this was the last logical step, so I don't think that is what is preoccupying him. I think this thing with you and him has been on his mind a lot…"

Donna sighed. "Things have been awkward between us, I know. And I'm trying, really trying, to make things normal again… but it's been difficult. Maybe I should never have rocked the boat, but it just happened."

"Maybe it needed to be rocked," Paula said, "so that it can be settled once and for all…"

"And it is," Donna said.

"Hmmm…. Yes…" Paula answered, just as Harvey walked in with a file in his hand.

"Had your chat? Ready to go?" he asked, looking with a slight frown from one woman to the other.

"Yes, I'm ready," Paula got up and smiled at him.

"Good," he said and turned to Donna, who also got up, and handed her the folder.

"I think Jen has gone out for lunch, can you make sure she gets around to typing this up as soon as she gets back? It's important."

"Will do. Have a good lunch."

His gaze lingered a moment longer on her, as if trying to figure out what she was thinking, then he thought the better of it, turned to Paula and they left.

Donna made her way to the ladies' room, staying in the stall for longer than necessary, trying to steady herself.

Paula was a good woman, Harvey would have a good life with her and the certainty Donna felt that Harvey really was gone to her forever made the pit of her stomach turn.


	4. Move On

**Chapter 4: Move on**

She knew she had to pull herself together if she wanted to continue working at Specter Litt and she knew the best way to do that was to accept that Harvey was happy now with Paula, that she would see Paula around. She had to make peace with Harvey, get the awkwardness out of the way. Donna was nothing if not determined.

The next day, like all days, was a busy one but on the Friday afternoon, she figured it was time. She didn't want to drag this over the weekend, so at the end of the day, she walked into Harvey's office.

"Harvey, we need to talk," she said, shutting the door behind her.

He looked up and saw the look on her face. "Oh, come on, not now Donna!"

"Not now what?"

"You think that after working with you for so long I can't read that look on your face? You want to go into some touchy feely stuff and I don't think I can stomach that right now."

"We have to at some point, Harvey…"

He was annoyed, banged his laptop shut and stood up behind his desk.

"Alright, say what you have to say and let's be done with it. What is it?"

"Paula and I had a small chat the other day when she was here…"

"I am aware, she told me about it over lunch."

"Good."

"What? Did you think she wouldn't? We want to do this right without secrets, so…"

Donna smiled, "I'm glad. That's the only way to be in a good relationship, to be honest with each other. And I want for you and I to have a good relationship as well, that's why I'm here…"

"Donna, please don't, I think I've had enough honesty…"

"No, don't worry, Harvey! I won't reiterate what happened a few weeks ago. That was a one-time thing and is done. We need to move on from that, I want us to be friends again. I'm glad I'm not your secretary anymore, that I have more independence in my work now, but I am COO to your managing partner position and we need to get along better, we need to move forward."

He crunched his jaws and nodded.

"Move forward, huh?" he then said.

"Yes."

"So, after all these years, you drop that bombshell on me a few weeks ago and already you are ready move on?"

Donna looked down at her hands for a moment, "I'm trying to be" she said before looking up at him again and meeting his eyes.

"Let bygones be bygones?" he asked, his anger a little deflated but still there.

She set her shoulders squarely, composed her expression and said, "Yes, I think it's time."

"Alright, sure. Statute of limitations for processing what happened is apparently 3 and a half weeks, then… Interesting. That's pretty fast. Makes me wonder how serious you were, if it's so easy for you to move past this."

"I didn't say it was ea…" but she couldn't finish what she was saying as Harvey got angrier again.

"So, you drop that shit on me out of the blue, endangering our whole friendship and working relationship, and you just want to MOVE ON?" he said angrily.

"What else do you suggest, Harvey?" she retaliated, getting angry now too. "We need to be able to work together…"

"We are working together, I think it's going fine!"

"You think the way you and I have been acting around each other recently has been fine?"

"Sure! We get the work done that needs to be done…"

"But we were always such good friends and could talk things over and I miss that…"

"Well, you should have thought of that before you kissed me, Donna! You can't do that and then just go back to how it was. It doesn't work that way!"

"OK, so what you're saying is we can't move past this?"

"I'm saying we live in a new reality now and right now, I'm not feeling too much friendship for you!"

"So, you'll stay angry at me for the rest of your life?"

"I might."

"We can't work together and be angry all the time."

"It gets my adrenaline flowing, I can do it fine."

"Well, then I guess that's how it will be, then," she said bitterly and turned to leave. She took a few steps to the door but then her own anger flared up and she turned back to him, just as he was sitting down and opening his laptop again.

"You know what, Harvey? I am so very sorry for the position I put you in! I know it may have been selfish of me but I can't regret it! I have been wiping your ass for 12 years as your secretary, always putting your needs before my own, and these past few months have been about me putting my own needs first for a change. That meant, finally listening to my own heart, finding out what my own ambitions are for myself and finally admitting after all this time that I really am goddamn in love with you! Do I want to be in love with you? Hell no, I don't! But I needed that honesty to move forward!"

"Donna…"

"No, let me finish. I am sick and tired of denying myself because of you. You have never been open for the vulnerability of a relationship…."

"Oh, and you have? You had the no dating people from work rule!"

"Well, for true love an exception could have been made…"

"There was never any opening for that…"

"Bullshit! There was! You stood there in my living room and told me you loved me but you bolted and you refused to acknowledge it afterwards. Maybe I could have pushed you more, and maybe I could have been braver sooner and told you how I felt sooner. But the thing is, Harvey, if I had pushed more I know I would have pushed you further away, so I backed down. For you! And now you have Paula who somehow has been able to penetrate your armour in a few months, something I have not been able to do in 13 years. She is my superior in that, I give her a standing ovation for it and I have conceded that fight. But this situation also makes me see that I'm done having my life circle all around you and protecting your feelings, Harvey."

"So, if you don't want your life circling around me, then why stay on here at Specter Litt?"

"Because I want this job, damn it! I will not concede the fight for this job and the desire to make it awesome! I'm not going to get a job like this elsewhere…"

"Don't sell yourself short, Donna, I know several law firms who would kill to have you."

"As COO or as a secretary?"

Harvey remained silent for a moment.

"I don't want to be a secretary anymore, Harvey. Like I told you before, I want more. I'm in the process of accepting that 'more' doesn't mean you but it does mean this job. To bring it full circle, I need for us to be friends again to be able to do this job. I need for us to move past that little detail of a kiss."

"Little detail, huh?"

"In the grand scheme of things, yes!"

Again, Harvey was silent for a few moments, looking down to his keyboard.

"Moving on," he half muttered.

"Yes, exactly. Moving on."

He then looked up again, fixing his gaze on her intently.

"So, you're not interested anymore in hearing what I thought about that kiss?" he asked carefully.

Donna raised her eyebrows in surprise and drew in a deep breath.  
"I… I… er…" she stammered, "I mean… don't I already know that? I thought… you know… that you were just angry about it."

"I am."

"Then what else is there to know?"

"That I am still processing it. It was quite a shock…"

"Was it really such a surprise, finding out how I feel?"

"The… timing of it was."

This time Donna looked down at her hands which she was clasping. For once, she was at a loss for words.

Harvey sighed.

"We can't be friends like we used to be, Donna. We can't be that… close anymore," he said.

Donna looked up at him again.

"I know. It'll just be a new phase for us, then," she said earnestly.

"Can we do that, do you think?" he asked.

"Well, we have been… less close these past few months, ever since you started seeing Paula."

"True."

"Harvey, I swear, I will try to butt out of your private life and work at not being bothered by… you know… But, we can be… friendly, can't we? We can say good morning to each other and mean it, we can talk about your newest car crush or a movie or a play, we can discuss things openly about what happens here at the office instead of avoiding each other and using monosyllables when we see each other."

"So… move on to a new phase and let the old one go, huh?"

"We can do it, don't you think? We'll just never mention it again, like, you know, the other time…"

He sat back and studied her for a few moments.

"You are right, we have been quite good at not mentioning the other time. I guess we can try that with this as well."

"So, friends and co-workers?"

Harvey got up from behind his desk and walked towards her. He held out his hand and she took it for a handshake.

"Friends and colleagues it is, then."

For the first time in weeks Harvey and Donna were able to smile at each other, albeit tentatively.


	5. Something's different

**Chapter 5: Something's different**

The distant friendship they developed over time was better than the iciness of before. One day at a time, the awkwardness lessened and they were able to fall into an easier working relationship with each other. Donna did everything she could to harden her heart against Harvey. When she saw Paula and Harvey meet each other outside one evening and then get into the car together she kept on telling herself that it was a good thing, that they were meant for each other. She tried not to linger on the disappointment that she apparently was not good enough for Harvey. She focussed on work and even with Rachel she never once let her guard too far down. If she did, she was afraid she'd crumble. She admitted to Rachel that she did feel some sadness but mostly she did her best to convince herself that she was happy, that COO was all the 'more' she could ever have wished for.

She threw herself into work, determined to be the best damned COO the New York law world had ever seen. From the praise she received from Louis especially, and on occasion also from Harvey, she slowly was able to grow in her role. And it felt good, too. She was on equal footing now with Harvey and Louis and that made her feel empowered.

Rachel and Mike finally set a wedding date and that too was able to distract her. As maid of honour and super-organizer, her focus outside work became to help Rachel and Mike throw the best wedding ever. With work and wedding planning, the weeks flew by and during the day she found herself quite successful in not thinking too much about Harvey and Paula. Nights were a different matter, she still hadn't completely banned him, or them, from her dreams, but she was working on that.

She was pouring over wedding magazines and pictures for maid of honour dresses one evening, when Harvey walked into her office. The choice for Donna's dress had already been made, so Rachel had already left for the night, and dress-lover Donna couldn't resist taking a few more looks at dresses before heading home herself.

Harvey walked in with a few folders he laid down on her desk.

"For tomorrow," he said and then, as he spotted the bridal magazine she was leafing through, he added, "So, everything set for the wedding?"

"Almost."

He looked at the magazine, "Didn't Rachel already buy her wedding dress?"

"She did."

"And do you have your dress picked out already?"

"In a way. I still have to choose between two final picks but Rachel is leaving that choice all up to me."

"She's right to do so. You know dresses and how to wear them like no other woman I know."

The tenderness in his voice made her look up at him and was matched by the tenderness in his eyes. He hadn't looked at her like that in a long time and it made her tummy do a somersault. 'No!' her mind yelled. She couldn't let herself be reeled in to that anymore! She quickly slammed the magazine shut and almost jumped up.

"I've gotta go, it's late" she said and the spell was broken. The tender look on Harvey's face was quickly masked by a more neutral one.

"You do realize you only have three more weeks to make that choice."

"Yeah, but I think I already know which one to go for, just need to go get it."

He smiled, "Yeah, you would have that under control, wouldn't you? No need for advice from me?"

"Er…"

She wasn't sure what to say. Why on earth was he being so sweet, Donna wondered? Before she could even think anymore, Harvey abruptly almost barked, "Well, good night, Donna!" and virtually fled the office.

What was wrong with him, Donna wondered, and she had good cause to wonder. He had been off, of late, and a few more of such odd moments followed in the following few weeks.

She at times could have sworn that she was being watched by him but when she'd look up across a room or hall, he'd be engrossed in something else, not her. It was starting to drive her crazy.

On occasion, he'd say something to her and study her reaction so closely, it was almost unsettling. She finally decided to call him on it, almost like she had done when she used to call him on things in the old days.

"Harvey, what's up?" she finally asked him.

"Nothing's up, why would you think so?"

"Something seems different about you of late…"

"Are you trying to psychoanalyze me like you used to do in the old days?"

"I wouldn't dare! You have P…" and then she shut up. She had wanted to say, "You have Paula for that" but quickly thought the better of it.

"I have what?" he asked.

"Never mind, I'd better shut up before I get too personal. Because that was our deal: to not get personal."

"I miss that, between us."

"You miss what?"

"You not holding back on calling me on my shit."

"So, I can do it now?"

"Maybe?

"OK. So, tell me, what's up with you, Harvey?"

"Well, being managing partner has its challenges..."

"It's not that."

"OK. So, what's different about me, then?"

She studied him a bit longer. "Is everything OK with you and Paula?"

"You think I behave oddly because of Paula?"

"Well, don't you?"

"Nope, don't think so."

She narrowed her eyes at him and studied him for a few moments. "I think I've lost my touch with you. Paula's done good by you, I can't quite read you anymore like I used to."

"Everything's fine, Donna."

"Yeah… and I don't miss that between us."

"You don't miss what?"

"You not telling me anything or being in denial."

"I'm not in denial about anything. Not anymore, anyway."

"See? And what does that mean?"

He gave her a little grin. "For me to know and for you to find out, I guess! See you tomorrow at the wedding, Donna."

The confirmation that something was indeed up with Harvey came the very next day. As Donna and Rachel's mother helped Rachel get dressed for her wedding, Rachel told Donna that she had heard from Mike that Harvey would be attending the wedding alone. There was no explanation, just that fact that Harvey wasn't bringing Paula. Donna was bursting with curiosity! Why wouldn't he bring Paula? Had they been in a fight? Was she just unavailable due to some emergency? Maybe she didn't like weddings? Or she'd feel an intrusion because she hardly knew anyone at the wedding? Maybe she'd just come in late? Whatever the case, the answer would have to wait.

All focus was on Rachel and Rachel was more than ready. Her mom took a seat while Rachel, her dad and Donna got ready to walk down the aisle.

The music started and Donna walked first, in her light lavender dress with a small bouquet of flowers in hand. She looked to Mike as she walked up, he looked so very excited, it just made her smile. She threw him a little wink and that made Mike smile even wider back at her.

She then glanced to the right of Mike at Harvey standing there. It's not like she didn't see him in a suit every day, but this particular day, he took her breath away. Maybe it was because of the flower in the button hole, or how good that light grey 3-piece suit looked on him, or was it the soft look on his face, with the slight smile and a twinkle in the eye as he looked back at her? They held each other's gaze for a long moment. Her step almost faltered and she had to force herself to look away from him to keep on walking. She soon hit her mark at the altar and Rachel then walked down the aisle on the arm of her father, looking stunningly beautiful and radiant.

Donna looked at Mike and sure enough, there were tears glistening in his eyes as he looked at his beautiful bride walking towards him. Donna's look shifted to Harvey beside Mike who was still smiling at Rachel who was now finding her place next to her groom. Harvey looked so relaxed and happy, Donna rarely saw him like that and it fascinated her, so she studied him. His gaze then landed on Donna again and his smile widened a little as he gave her a quick wink. Donna smiled back and then both turned their attention to the couple between them.

The ceremony was beautiful and heartfelt, the happy couple were beaming and the exchanging of the vows brought tears to many eyes. Donna saw Harvey's eyes glisten and he looked right at her, not even attempting to hide it. What had gotten into this man, she wondered? The glimpses she was getting of him on this day were showing him to be openly vulnerable. She knew, she had known for many years, that behind the cool composed exterior of Harvey Specter lay the soul of a vulnerable man who cared, but she had never seen him show it so openly before. Was anyone else even noticing this? Or was she just being too attuned to Harvey Spencer on this day? She scolded herself for a moment, she told herself she needed to stop analysing Harvey, that that was a thing of the past. Before she could completely steel herself against the man, however, the music played for the bridal procession to head out again.

Harvey, as best man, offered Donna, as maid of honour, his arm as they followed the newlyweds outside.

"I was right a few week ago, you know dresses and you know what looks good on you. You look very beautiful, Donna," he half whispered to her.

She looked up at him and caught the warm glow he had while looking at her. She didn't let it fluster her.

"You clean up quite nicely yourself, Harvey."

"Don't I always look nicely cleaned up?"

"You know me better than to just feed your ego… there's always room for improvement."

He just grinned at her as they came outside and were caught up in the aftermath of the wedding, the congratulations, followed by picture taking, drinks, cake, speeches and a delicious dinner.

Donna and Harvey were seated in the vicinity of each other but never really with each other so they weren't able to talk much, even though many casual looks passed between them. After Rachel's and Mike's first dance, everyone started to dance.

While Donna danced the evening away, Harvey was mostly mixing with guests or watching the dancefloor.

As the evening started drawing to a close Harvey finally decided to try his chances on the dancefloor as well. Two songs in, the Ed Sheeran ballad "Thinking out loud" started playing. Harvey, who had been dancing near Donna, took her hand and pulled her to him. Donna was a little surprised but there were many couples now gracing the dancefloor, why not she and Harvey? She settled into his arms, keeping a little distance between them. They swayed to the music and when their eyes met, there was no looking away anymore. Something shifted within Donna, a warmth in the pit of her stomach started spreading over her whole frame. Donna completely lost track of the world around her; she was lost in Harvey and, for all that she could see, he looked like he was lost in her.

The words to the song washed over her.

 _"_ _And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways  
Maybe just the touch of a hand  
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day  
And I just wanna tell you I am_

 _So honey now  
Take me into your loving arms  
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars  
Place your head on my beating heart  
I'm thinking out loud  
Maybe we found love right where we are"_

It almost became painful listening to the lyrics, as they seemed to exactly express what she was feeling. Donna broke eye contact and rested her cheek against Harvey's instead. It still felt like bittersweet torture but at least he wouldn't be able to see her eyes and the tears she felt prickling behind them. The resolve Donna had made ever since that fated kiss that she would move on, felt to be quickly fading away. She caught sight of Rachel, who was in Mike's arms, looking at her questioningly but she couldn't deal with the questions there and closed her eyes. She took in the feel of Harvey against her, the feel of being in his arms, the slightly musky smell mixed with alcohol. She existed only in that moment and it felt bittersweet.

As the song ended on the repeated line, _"Maybe we found love right where we are"_ Donna pulled back and looked into Harvey's eyes again. He returned her look steadily and they didn't move for the first few beats of the next song. Donna suddenly knew she couldn't do this anymore. She closed her eyes for a moment, pulled away, shook her head and walked off.

Harvey was left standing alone on the dancefloor as if he had been struck by lightning. It didn't take him long to come back to his senses, however, and he ran after her.

"Donna," he called and just before she was able to enter the ladies' room, he was able to grab her by the hand so that she had to turn around to face him.

"What was that on the dancefloor? You are being… unfair!" she spat at him. "Let me go!"

He did let her go and they stared each other down for a few moments.

"Donna, I…"

"So, where's Paula?" Donna snapped, not letting him finish whatever he wanted to say.

"Really?" he asked, nostrils starting to flare, temper rising, "I'll throw that right back at you. Where is your date?"

That took the wind out of Donna's sails for a moment. " _My_ date?"

"Rachel told me a few weeks ago that you were dating someone."

"Ha! She told you that, did she?"

"Well?"

"I thought we wouldn't do personal anymore, so it's none of your business, Harvey."

"Yes, we did say that."

"Don't ever dance like that with me again!" Donna snapped and then turned on her heels and fled into the ladies' room.

Donna stayed there for a long time, trying to compose herself. What was she to do? She was figuring out that she would probably never completely get over Harvey. She stayed in so long, that when she came out again, she noticed (and was told) that Harvey had left. She had also missed the bouquet toss.


	6. Realization

**Chapter 6: Realization**

The morning after the wedding, while she was still lounging in bed, Donna received a text from Rachel.

\- Everything OK with you & Harvey? Saw the dance, looked intense

\- Don't want to talk about it right now, Rach. You should not worry about me, enjoy your honeymoon!

\- I will, right after this. Harvey left right after the dance.

\- I heard

\- We told him to give our regards to Paula and he snapped and said Paula was gone and has been for a few weeks. We couldn't ask any questions, he just bolted after that.

\- Paula gone? As in, it is over between them?

\- Sounded like it.

\- Did you tell him I was dating someone?

\- Yes, I think I may have. Why?

\- He asked me where my date was.

\- Weren't you dating that Rick fellow?

\- Well, yes, a few dates, but he quickly got on my nerves and I haven't seen him in a week.

\- So, the coast is clear!

\- For what?

\- You know for what, Donna. Mike and I have been rooting for you and Harvey.

\- Well, don't. It's a waste. Now go and enjoy your honeymoon! Hope the wedding night was good. ?

\- My lips are sealed but oh, the memories will live on in my brain forever! XO

Donna laid back on her pillow, hands resting behind her head, staring at the ceiling.

So, Paula was gone? What did that mean? Why he hadn't he told her? Scratch that, they weren't telling each other that stuff anymore.

Paula was gone.

Who had left whom? She'd really had the impression that they were serious. And for once, she'd thought that Harvey was ready for such a relationship. She knew how difficult it was for Harvey to trust and give himself. Paula leaving, after only just a few months, must have been devastating to Harvey. She remembered the small moments, looks and smiles she and Harvey had exchanged at the wedding. Was he feeling vulnerable, wanting to talk to her about it?

Yes, here she was again, focussing all her attention on Harvey! She really had to stop that! She got up, took a long shower, dressed casual, and decided to go out for a walk to clear her head.

When she got back again an hour later she saw Harvey in the distance, standing next to his town car, just as she was approaching her apartment building.

What surprised her even more than finding him there, was that Harvey seemed nervous! He was pacing! She stood for a moment to take in what she was seeing. He opened the car door, as if he wanted to get in, then apparently decided against it, closed the door and leaned against the car. Something was up.

Donna steeled herself and approached him. He immediately spotted her and stood up straight again. He cocked his head to one side and gave her a little smirk.

"Hi, Harvey," she said as she went up to him. "What are you doing here?"

"I… er… came to apologize."

"For what?"

"You were angry at me last night for that dance and I'm sorry…"

"Let's not mention it anymore."

"I just wanted to… explain."

"It's OK, I heard from Rachel that Paula is gone, so I get that you were feeling vulnerable… There's nothing to explain. I'm so sorry about Paula, but I don't want to… I'll see you in the office on Monday, Harvey."

Donna wanted to leave but Harvey wasn't ready to let her go.

"I'd rather see you now, we need to talk."

"I have no interest right now in discussing your situation with Paula. We were not going to discuss this stuff with each other anymore, remember?"

"Well, it's not so much about Paula. It's more about you and me."

Donna closed her eyes for a moment and sighed.

"It's always about you and me… I can't do this anymore, Harvey. I'm so tired."

He stepped closer to her. "I'm tired too, Donna," he said softly, "And I think maybe there is a chance we can change that."

"Talking will make us less tired?"

He studied her eyes and for a moment Donna could not tear her own gaze away. He was standing close, it was difficult to not look into his eyes.

"I'm tired of keeping our worlds apart, Donna," he said, "I'm tired of sticking my head in the sand. I'm tired of being afraid to look like a fool. I'm tired of running away from you." He paused for a moment and then added, "I'm mostly tired of pretending I only care for you as a friend."

Her eyes opened wide. What was he saying? They continued to stare at each other, neither of them moving before Donna finally found her voice.

"Where is this coming from, what are you saying?"

"That I have been an idiot pushing you away and never seeing what was right in front of me."

Donna closed her eyes to break the intensity. She then took a step backwards.

"Don't do this, Harvey…"

"You got to kiss me a while back. Now it's my turn, I need to say this…"

"I know you must feel lonely with Paula gone, but you can't just... I'm glad she helped you be more in touch with whatever it is you think you feel, but I am no consolation prize, Harvey. Now, please, let's not do this… there's no going back…"

He took another step towards her.

"You don't get it, Donna. You are not a consolation prize! If anything, Paula would have been that. And I don't want to go back, I want to move forward…"

Donna frowned. "I don't understand."

"I have come to realize, Donna, that I am ready to tell you and show you how I love you…"

"Harvey…"

"You want to do this here in the street or go somewhere a little more private?"

"I can't, Harvey… Please, let's not…"

"Why not?" Before she could answer he quickly continued, "It can't be because of whoever you were dating because I heard from Mike this morning that you are not dating that man anymore…"

She now could only stare at him, wide-eyed, as he stepped closer to her. This was happening? Did she even want this to happen? So much had gone before, this couldn't be happening.

"Harvey…" was all she able to whisper, in a last half-hearted attempt to try to stop him. Did she really want to stop him? She should want to.

Harvey was so close! He lifted his hand and gently touched her cheek and she couldn't help but lean into his touch.

"Donna," he now said softly in that deep tender tone of voice, looking at her so intently it took her breath away.

The next moment he leaned in further and his lips gently found hers. The memory of their last kiss came soaring back. This time, however, it was Harvey who was kissing her! She couldn't help herself, she soon responded to him, her lips moving in synch against his. Harvey didn't need a lot of encouragement, he now pulled Donna against him, circling his arms around her, deepening their kiss. Her arms snaked around his neck, her hands caressing his nape as she reached up. He pulled her even closer, capturing her lips over and over again. As intoxicating as it all felt, her heart beating wildly in her chest, Donna's voice of reason started to make itself heard. She relished the kiss only a little while longer before she came to her senses again and gently pushed Harvey away, stepping out of his embrace.

"I… we… I need to… think…" she stammered.

He studied her closely, his eyes roaming all over her face.

"I've been thinking so very much since you kissed me at the office that night…" he said.  
"Maybe I shouldn't have done that…" Donna started.

"No, it was good that you did! It forced me to stand back and look at myself. It made me examine my own heart and find you there, anchored in a very permanent place."

Donna gasped.

"Paula won't have liked that…" she said.

"No, she didn't, but she realized, maybe even sooner than I did, that my heart was never completely hers. Being with Paula felt like I was cheating on you and I hated that feeling! Paula and I mutually consented to break it off, Donna."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm sorry I was so blind that I hurt Paula but I'm not sorry we ended it. I did love Paula but not… enough… I couldn't be with her, when I'm in love with someone else…"

Donna took a deep breath, trying to take it all in, feeling a little uncomfortable under his direct stare. She could fully understand how he could make his opponents in the law quake in their boots, his presence was almost overpowering.

"When… when did this happen?" she asked a little unsteadily.

"About 4 weeks ago."

"So, why didn't you come to me right then?"

"Because admitting it to Paula was one thing, admitting it to you was quite another. And then Rachel told me you were dating and it just didn't feel like the right time."

"And Mike telling you this morning that I wasn't seeing anyone…"

"… made this the perfect time to come and tell you. I got here as quickly as I could."

Again, they stood gazing at each other like two fools.

"I hope I'm not too late…" Harvey then softly said.

"I… I still need to think… process…" Donna said, "But you can come up for a coffee if you like."

Harvey grinned, "I'll take that."

Donna smiled, cocked her head towards her building's entrance and they both went upstairs to her apartment.


	7. Coffee

**Chapter 7: Coffee**

Inside the flat, Donna kicked off her shoes and slipped on her slippers. She went into the kitchen to make the coffee, giving her a moment to recuperate, while Harvey made himself comfortable in the living room.

So, now, finally, after 13 years, this was happening! Harvey had told her he loved her. The 'more' she had secretly always hoped for from him was there for her to grab. Or was it? How serious was he? He was the biggest commitment-phobe on the planet, could more than 20 years of commitment phobia really be cured overnight? Harvey's relationship track record wasn't exactly stellar, but neither was hers, she had to admit in all honesty. With Harvey, it was different, though. She'd been disappointed and she'd caused disappointment, but with Harvey, If things didn't work out, if he broke her heart, she feared she'd never survive it. And if they broke up, that would mean the end of their friendship, she was sure of it. Could she really take the plunge with him? Yes, there was chemistry between them, they were close, they respected each other, they loved each other… but was it enough? Could they do the daily grind thing together? Maybe their relationship up till now had only worked precisely because they were not a couple! Maybe getting together would spoil all they had? Maybe…

Her thoughts were interrupted by Harvey.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked and she almost jumped as she looked to him, leaning against her fridge.

"I… er… I… just… making coffee," she stammered.

"Oh. Right. It was taking so long I was starting to wonder whether you had to go to South America yourself to get the coffee beans…"

Donna gave a little laugh, regaining her composure.

"Har-de-har, Harvey… Almost done."

"Good," he smiled at her.

"Good," she smiled back.

"You do realize I want to kiss you right now, coffee be damned?"

"Harvey…" she said in her best warning tone of voice.

He held up his hands in capitulation, but did move closer.

"Can I help?" he asked.

She pointed to the cookie jar. "You can bring that," she said.

He went to the living room, cookie jar in hand, and she followed with the coffee. They set it down on the coffee table and he turned to face her.

"Donna…" he started but she immediately interrupted him.

"Harvey, I'm not sure this is a good idea…"

"Are you chickening out on me?" he asked incredulously. "After all we've been through, and that kiss, and you telling me you love me as more than just a friend?"

"Harvey…"

"No, I know I haven't stepped up to the plate before. I remember all those times when you accused me of not stepping up to the plate for the women in my life, only fighting for cases and never for love, and you were right! But I'm doing it now. For you. And only you. For the very first time ever, I don't care if I make a fool of myself. I love you, Donna, and I want to be with you… I'm all in…"

"You've never been able to do that before, what makes now so different from all the other times?"

"You, Donna. You are different. You and I have been through thick and thin together. You know all my shit and I have been an ass to you often and yet you still are here, you still stand by me. Even when you worked for Louis and I thought you had abandoned me… I realize now that I was the one who had abandoned you! My heart has always felt safe in your hands and I want it to remain there. The question is does your heart feel safe with me? Because I think it should. There is no person on this earth I care for more than you, no person I would rather fight for than you! When I said earlier that I wanted to apologize, I wanted to apologize for abandoning you and I promise I will never do that again."

"How do you know that? How do you know you won't abandon me at some point?"

"Because now, I know myself. Because we've basically been together for 13 years and I still want to fight for you. This is me fighting for you, Donna, for your love, for our love! This is me baring my heart and soul, something I would never have thought I'd ever be capable of. But I can do it. For you. I want us to finally happen, Donna. Don't you?"

He looked almost wild after this impassioned speech and Donna felt the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I don't know how to trust it, Harvey," she said softly. "I… I do want us to happen. But… I mean, why now? What made you realize this stuff now?"

"I think being with Paula was probably more about therapy, in a way, than about being together. She questioned me and made me see things and helped me admit things to myself I had never dared admit before. I will forever be grateful to her for that. She helped me see that it can be OK to be vulnerable and through her I realized that it is you I want in my life."

Donna let out a long breath and Harvey took a step towards her, standing very close to her now. They looked at each other in silence, neither quite knowing what move to make next.

Processing all he had said, Donna finally half whispered, "I'm scared, Harvey. I'm so scared…"

He then pulled her into his arms and held her close, one hand around her back, the other holding the back of her head to his shoulder.

"I'm scared too, Donna," he murmured in her ear, "But I think I'm even more scared of not being with you."

Donna took in a few deep breaths. This really was happening.

She eventually leaned back and gently took Harvey's face in her hands, his hands still loosely resting on her hips. He looked as tortured as she felt. She studied him for a few long moments and saw that at last his fences really were down! She knew every Harvey-look, she had seen glimpses of the fences-down look before, but he had always run away or quickly masked it, once he'd shown her those glimpses. Now it was more than a glimpse, it was a whole damned open window! He was raw and vulnerable and he remained so, as he allowed her to study him. She had shed so many tears of late, and this moment was no exception, as the truth of this situation hit her. Yet again she felt the tears gathering in her eyes and Harvey's eyes weren't quite dry either.

"You will be the death of me, Harvey Specter," she finally said softly.

He slowly started to smile. "Does that mean I have closed this deal as well? My most difficult case ever?"

"I love you," she added simply, not rising to the banter but wanting to show him her vulnerability as well. She pulled his face down towards hers as she languidly kissed his lips. He didn't hesitate to respond and quickly deepened the kiss, tightening his hold on her again.

When they broke apart for a moment to catch some air, Donna whispered, "Is this really happening?"

Harvey, relieved and elated, laughed and lifted her so that her feet were no longer touching the floor. She could hardly breathe for his tight grip, but she didn't care.

"This really is happening," Harvey grinned as he set her back down again and kissed her again. It took a little while for them to stop kissing for a few moments.

"I'll just tell Ray he can go on home now, if that's OK with you?" Harvey finally said, huskily.

Donna grinned. "That's OK with me."

The warmth when he looked at her, the happy relaxation in his features, the crinkles at the sides of his eyes as he widely smiled at her, warmed her heart. She kissed his jaw and nibbled his ear as he made the call, and after that nothing could stop them. Their kisses deepened and before she knew it, Donna was playing with Harvey's tie and loosening it. They eventually left a trail of clothing on the way to Donna's bedroom…

"No whipped cream this time?" he breathed into her ear, crawling over her as they tumbled onto her bed.

"Not as prepared for your company this time around as I was the other time…" Donna managed to squeak.

"We may need to go shopping later, then…" Harvey grinned before completely ravishing her.

Even though it was the middle of the day, they both managed to fall asleep after two rounds of lovemaking.

Donna was the first to wake up. She sat up and looked down at a very peaceful, slumbering Harvey. That man certainly knew his way around her body extremely well, she thought with a smile; he was very skilled at knowing what she liked. Had he remembered from that other time they had been together years ago?

Donna got up and walked to the living room. It was quite a mess, with clothes strewn all over. She picked up Harvey's crisp white shirt, held it to her face to smell it and then put it on. She piled all the clothes on one armchair and cleared the coffee cups with the coffee that had gone cold. She brewed two new cups and with them in hand, walked over to her bedroom again.

Harvey was awake and smiling at her.

"You look so very good in my shirt," he smiled.

She smiled back. "It's a good shirt… Here, I made you a cup of coffee."

She sat down on the edge of the bed next to him and handed him his cup. His eyes twinkled as he smiled at her and they both took their sips. They put their cups down on the night stand and Harvey angled his body towards Donna again.

"That's the best cup of coffee I've ever had," he said gently, gazing at her intently.

"It certainly was worth the wait," Donna smiled.

Harvey's smile broke widely as he said, "I knew you'd say that."

He then leaned in, gently brushed a strand of her hair to the side and kissed her.

"How did you know I'd say that?" she asked as they brushed their noses against each other.

"I have literally dreamt of a moment such as this," he smiled and then he kissed her again.

He pulled her to him in the bed and they snuggled together, her head resting on his chest while he played with strands of her hair.

"So, what does this mean for your rule? We can still work together, can't we?" he asked softly, kissing her head.

"I'm not your secretary anymore, so yes, I think we can swing that."

She turned to look up at him and they were lost in more kisses.

"This feels so… right," Donna eventually murmured against Harvey's lips.

"It does. Like we're already an old married couple who are still in love…" he answered.

She smiled against his lips and they kissed some more.

"…and in time I think we should make it official," he murmured.

Donna pulled away and propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at her lover.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"It feels like we're married already, I'm just saying we should formalize it at some point…"

Donna started grinning.

"Harvey Specter, are you proposing to me already after only being together for, what, 4 hours?"

"Donna Paulsen, we've been together for 13 years… and 4 hours. I'd say it's about time I did something definitive before I risk losing you."

"You won't lose me," Donna smiled.

"I think I know that," Harvey smiled back and pulled her down again so that he could kiss her thoroughly all over again…

* * *

THE END


End file.
